"I Felt Useless Until I Learned to Think in Pictures" with Haritha Chitta

Those who carry themselves so wise, the intellect is perfect and they're very non reactive. They're very subtle. Buddha laga. There's no more learning to do. It's about just that sublime being just yeah, like not raging like a river, but like, that's still lake. So that that is all it is. Any bit of wisdom that I learn, I want to share it. Welcome back to another episode of Portraits of Strength, the podcast where we share real stories of resilience, growth, and the moments that shape us. Who we become.

I'm your host, Harry the anecdotist. What does it look like when someone builds a life entirely from the inside out? Not chasing trends, not seeking validation, but following something quieter and deeper. Today's guest is Harita Chitta, an illustrator, animator, and storyteller whose work sits at the intersection of ancient wisdom and modern emotion. She literally thinks in visuals. Her thoughts, her reflections, her ideas, they all take shape as images before they ever reach a canvas or a screen.

Her path wasn't straightforward. There were seasons of deep questioning about purpose, identity, and what it truly means to dedicate your life to something meaningful. She had to learn to trust the inner voice. You know, the little voice when the outer world offered very little direction. The first time I came across her was on Instagram a couple of years ago when I came across her, you know, series of what she calls a Rojulu Gurtunaya. I literally connected with it immediately because it brought me back to my childhood and I ever since I've been following her and I have been a great admirer.

Now I share the first name with her. My name is Harita too. But let me say this upfront, I am leagues away from her artistic genius Harita. Welcome to Portraits of Friend. It's truly an honour. Hi, Andy, Hi, Hari Gadu, and thank you so much. Thank you so much for making me a part of your this beautiful journey. Yeah, for sure. So Manam Mundasachadam, let's let's go back to when you were a kid. Where did you grow up? How were you as a kid? OK, so mine is I'm like more of a metropolitan city girl.

So I was born in Hyderabad, but then I grew up for eight years in Chennai and then again 8 to 10 years in Bangalore. So my primary to high school and the Bangalore, okay, Chennai for two years and then again back to Hyderabad doing my architecture. So it's like Hyderabad, Chennai, Bangalore and Hyderabad. So full, completely metropolitan cities. So do you. So do you speak Tamil and Kannada too? Yes. So I speak Tamil and I I mean Kannada. I understand pretty much all of it, but I don't speak much because Bangalore Kannada.

OK, OK, that's OK. So what kind of a kid were you? Were you like naughty? Were you introspective or are there any like, you know, moments or stories that you remember from that time? Chinnapudu. I mean, to be honest, all my life I was. I was this very silent observer, naughty, matured, calm girl. OK. So there's no really naughtiness pretty much. And maybe we've got brother, I have a younger brother who's also here in the US But so maybe I'm like, very, this is the same person that you see right, Right now.

OK, OK. So is there, is there somebody who's influenced, influenced you in your life or who's like your role model? Huh, so role models usually keep changing with your life maturity experience though, but all all the time when you see that zoomed out team, what kind of category All my role models are usually are the are the wise ones who are really wise and now wise, aren't they not really interest intelligent, but they're like you know how to behave. They're not really affected by outside things much.

They just initial guy. It used to be those extremely passionate thing and people who love what they're doing immensely and they do it so beautifully well. And it's not even a difficulty for them when you'd love doing things like that, right? So Stephen Hawking's was one time role model for me is like, it was like he had so many limitations, but he's like beyond all of it, right? Right. So there's so many, but honestly, it is all all. Most of them were all the wise, calm and Balappani wala explaining that's all it is.

So am I reading this right that when you say probably people who are had a little bit more spiritual bent of mind or even like that kind of like higher level of maturity that that that's who you looked up to? Am I reading that right? Yes, all of the time. It was that thing. Those who carry themselves so wise, the intellect is perfect and they're very non reactive. They're very subtle. Buddha Laga. So like somebody who's self aware. Yep, absolutely. OK, got it, Got it. Very super peaceful. They just, they radiate peace and they're very, very violent.

That has always been there. And right now, that's the only thing that I am. OK. So who is? Is there somebody who you look up to today, like in your current phase of life? Yes. And those are like a very recent realization. And it's not very mainstream names that you listen. It's more it's like Janaka Maharshi. Yes, yes, yeah. He because he is supposedly that one person who is especially enlightened, but he does all his duties so gracefully and right. He is like Aina. And then there's another woman called Hemaleka from the very, very powerful script called Tripura Hasyam.

So she is 1. And then recently I got to know about another woman, a spiritually wise woman called Madalasa. And she's like, she just spreads the spiritual wisdom to even the infants that she had. So yeah, these are. So you, so Miru and Bhaga Mana, Olds, Itiha Salu, Sahitya, Lavani, Bhaga Chadutar are the interest on the basic Akanichi. You're getting all these people as your role models. Am I? Is that right? Correct. Yes, correct. So I read I don't know what the meaning of Ethi Hasam is. I'm sorry.

Ethi Hasamante History History. OK, yeah, yes, at the moment I'm reading more of all the Vedas and Upanishads, not all of them, whatever that comes by. So right. Yeah. OK, OK. Adya put start in the Antimana Mana Veda lupani chador damo like they mythology in Chadorum because that's something that I love doing. And I try to, you know, bring those stories to my daughter. And I actually started another Deeni Mundar. There was another podcast where I was retelling the old stories on Mata. Oh, beautiful.

Love so adinaku interest only so I find it very interesting that you are you also have like interest. I put start, then there's no date. Honestly, it has always been there. I was always so curious initially when I was young, of course, Devad Bhakti and so it was limited to that. I mean, after I'm super grateful, at least I got my foundation that my punctuality cover to even get into the groove. So that helped me that way. But so I was always so curious about this, which I was not even aware of. So you know, I used to read, I thought I loved human psychology.

I wanted to become a psychiatrist and OK, because I mean, that is still the same path, but I do not know that this was this, this is that. So astrology was so fond of it. So if you see the correct. And then when I when I finished my architecture, the masters that I wanted to do was architectural psychology. So how spaces affect people, how the emotions are the four walls and which all impact us lighting with the color, the trees or plants you put in literally wall textures, the materials, all of them impact you.

So that is what I wanted to, but I ended, I did not go for it because I got married. But yeah, OK, so category and water. So it just unfolded. It just opened up and up and it is, it is no set deadline, but every year is like tremendous. You just look back and I, I write down all my, I've started to write down my experiences and I'm like, wow, this just happens. No, that's, that's amazing. I mean, honestly, I did not know that there was a course or a master's called architectural psychology. That is a new thing that I'm learning today.

And yeah, I mean, it's not like you're you can still do your masters. Yeah, I can. But now, now this has become my like finally, when I got to know that this is my path, now I'm like I have there's nothing else I wanted to but this that's illustrating, animating. I'm Neera. It's introduction. I am everything individual, anything that I listen to say a topic in so I'm like, I cannot not put that to life and I want to spread it now. I don't know I'm. Like you're right example that I'm there, but it's more like I for me, stories are everywhere and we learn and we learn through stories, correct?

So sharing those stories is very important to me. So Andakani Nenu, I write my basic like my thoughts Anandi in my personal experiences or you know, either in my personal essay form or stories form, I'm writing. And the whole reason I started this podcast was not for any other reason other than the fact that I want to meet new people and have conversations like these. That is on a personal level, but also on a level that I want these stories out there for people who when they listen to these, they can either relate to it or they can actually when they hear these stories, they can feel, you know, there are people that sometimes feel maybe I'm the only one, but Elon stories or various stories of vinte.

OK, I'm not alone. Yes, there are others who have gone through something similar or whatever. And if they can make it, I can also make it an I started this on Mata so. Definitely. You're right 100%. It just gives you that. I'm not alone. Anoka feeling you're not exactly this. And sometimes it inspires. Sometimes you get solutions exactly like OK now. So yeah. Nice. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, this is not some and as you said, I have that drive to do it. This is again, I'm not getting paid to do this.

I'm doing it on my own. So it's just exactly so as you said, now can't be Sundar Kun to them only, but when I it's only when you meet other people like this, you'd kind of like relate to it, but not everybody has that to your point. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So yeah. Yeah. OK. So you describe yourself as a seeker, someone drawn to, you know, meaning and inner growth. When did you first realize this about yourself? Like, was there a movement, movement that happened or was it like over a period of time?

Like how did that come about? No. So all my life I am, I have been and I still am an overthinker. I think a lot. I think so much I cannot not think and now I do want don't want to think anymore. I finally have come to a point where until it's like it's not. It's sometimes it is overwhelming when you. Think a lot. For sure, it's all, but sometimes it also gives relief because you're given having you're getting a solutions by thinking. So it's like Oka situation Jergy Munde I mathematical calculation.

The next thing I can like 8 on 10/9 on 10 predict it and it happens. And I've come to a point where I'm tired. I don't want to predict it. I don't want or might as well. No, because let's assume that I know that next moment that flower is going to fall down. So if I know why do I want to go protect it? Might as well. OK, I was like that exhausted at some point. So I've always been an overthinker and seeking something. So there is there has to be a place where there is that complete mental peace and all the all the gurus tell you that that peace comes when you're in that neutral state.

So, but until then, you have to seek and by the by the whole process itself. I know that I've been a seeker all the time. I'm learning and it never drains me learning anything out a proper girl. Don't waste energy on anything and everything. Whatever you're learning about it never drains me. It just gives me more and more peace that I don't want. There's nothing more to learn. And then the spinal, the past few months, maybe 2-3 months, have come to a point where there's no more learning to do. It's about just that sublime being just yeah, like not raging like a river, but like, that's still lake.

So that that is all it is. But to know to become a still lake, you have to rage like a river or NI nadilaga. You have to merge into the ocean at some point. So there's no choice. OK, so walk me through how you discovered your passion, like whether it's your artwork or your storytelling. I mean, I mean, you have a beautiful voice and combined with your, you know, the artwork and the way you give voice over when you're talking about that artwork is like, literally, it's mesmerizing. But I also understand the storytelling that goes behind it.

It's not that easy. But so how did you discover that? And maybe was art always present in your life? Like tell me about that. Correct. So I was always artistic in Japan to a very visual covet. My mom is also an artist, but she does all the mainstream paintings, oil paintings, acrylic pot paintings, crafts, All of them are OK. So I've seen her do things all all my life, but I've never officially sat down and under her guidance. But she's been an inspiration just by seeing around. And my whole artistic things are a little different now.

Certain pictures of tinkle and I was a human, like I told you, I was interested in human psychology and things like that. Human portraits sort of practice just by natural light. Learn, learn, learn. So I just don't know how I do it. I cannot teach you. Right. So art is always there. I loved a lot, I loved creating. I had all that immense ideas and so it is like all my life, even a newspaper, Ghani magazine, Logani, even as some caricatures or illustration. So it used to attract me a lot. Just used to give me that burst of joy.

Just looking at it was so satisfying and what OK, so it grew. Deep down I had that. I need to do it. Dani, which I was not aware of, but I used to love them a lot. But aesthetics, Kani colors Kani. So I love is 2 and then when I moved here, it was during that peak COVID time, so exactly like one day before. So then I sat down doing hyperrealism pencil paintings. And so, so Allah Amari Allah, Koni Hanuman. It took me weeks together just to finish one of them. And then of course, my husband kept telling me to try the digital illustration and all that, and then I started doing that the end of the day.

But I knew that either it's so difficult to understand what you even want. Because it's a confusing color sometimes you're trying to figure out what is it you want while you're doing it. Exactly. I get it. I get it, yeah. So I started practicing whatever I do on paper. I used to do it on iPad and stuff and then I got the Chai biscuit is that is a very famous. Wild media house, right? Yeah. Yes, media house. So I used to follow them for a long time. Yeah. Another thing parallely was like I was always a writer all my life.

I used to write a lot and I used to come first and all the storytelling things, science, sex, temporaries or whatever that is called. English was always a Topper. Telugu official school. So I don't want to read Telugu. I could have schooling. Which one? Bangalore and. Chennai. No, I mean Hyderabad. Which branch KV? Hyderabad. All of schooling was in Chennai and Bangalore. Hyderabad was architecture. Architecture so OU. Sir OU Osmania University, Sri Venkateshwara SVC. SVC. OK, OK, nice, nice. OK.

Do you still publish like your writing and all that? I know I found you on Instagram for your artwork and all, but do you like regularly write and publish? No, I haven't done that yet. Nanny. I do it by for myself and Mata, I printed my own book. I kept it for myself. Oh nice. But yes. But I definitely my my lifetime ableo that that is number 1. So not neither Rayal and Kalu. I want to bring forth whatever already is and visualize and put it in pictures and in words. Yeah. So. So all the videos that you see envelope script is flows naturally because I used to love writing all the time.

Yeah, Yeah. I can actually clearly see that like storytelling key. Again, I come from the fact that because I write and that is how I work, like even when I'm doing like for that storytelling, it is important that you actually put pen to paper and be able to write it in such a way that it makes sense to you. Then you're able to put it out. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Exactly so. I can, I can see that when when I see your reels of you know, when you're storytelling in behind the reels and the voice overs and all of that.

So I can, I can see that for sure, definitely. And voice over also comes so easy because it's something that we write from our own hearts. So it's correct. I write from my heart. I draw the same thing, what I feel in my heart and then I speak it out. So there's no planning or there's no practicing. There's nothing of that sort. You just speak what you feel, OK, that is. When did you start your Instagram handle And like kind of like what made you start that? Yeah, so 2023, so my daughter was born in 2022 so and that is when slowly I started practicing and then the first thing that I ever did was I wanted to do animal placards for my daughter.

I wanted to teach her more languages at the same time. So India post delivery 3 months, she was only three months and then I took that time to sit and draw animals of all sorts of in different, different colors until so light won't be in yellow or orange, it will be in purple allow okay, so and then I did very innovatively that way I can teach what the animal is what the color is and ink a different language. I wanted to teach a Sanskrit also, so Allah, I did around like 50 animals or something.

I printed them and all that. Literally redrew that on an iPad as a practice. OK, so for five animals and then I search eye biscuit, just posting up there, we're looking for new content creator or something, something. And I was none. No, I don't do recording videos and stuff, but I just applied to them. I just told them that I come under none of those categories, but maybe something illustration wise. It would be nice if I could do one in and then actually in COVID series. So I did not draw it, but I, I tried using all the tools that we have already done through COVID series, ABC's of COVID, Darin and Jason.

And I know we saw a lot of a lot of sadness and a lot of fear. So there there were some good points from the from whatever happened as well about spending time with family Kani like with they're learning to sanitize yourself better Gani taking care of health. So A-Z Ani each alphabetic point. I didn't so Telugu, so Telugu English side. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, that is, yeah. That is the first book I printed for oneself. It is very satisfying. So they liked it. So they're like, OK, might as well try. So I was in illustration practice.

So it's like, OK, they took me in. So that force where I they took me in. So I have to create and something that I love doing. So only I started doing amata. So I had my own story, I drew my own things, and then Pratsari record it. I thought voiceover started voiceover. Started that way, I had zero idea of that will be good, not good, but somehow all of them love the voice that when I don't do when I put any videos without a voiceover, the comments are all like where is your voice? Why do you not?

Yeah, nice. So. Yeah. OK, so that's how it started. Correct, Correct. Yes. And how has the, I mean, I know you have what about 75 K or more or am I saying that the number wrong? Yeah. Approximately 7 for you. OK, it's going a little up and down right now and the country, I'm not regularly posting yet, so. Sure. I mean your phases of life 30 that like kind of like go up and down for sure, definitely correct, But how did you feel that much of you know, love and and everything or what what how did that make you feel?

It was, it was like, first of all, unbelievable. Number one. Yeah. And #2 it was very like just fulfilling. So fulfilling, validating, yeah, Aunty, this is like I'm on the right track. And because the comments, of course, comments like your drawing is good, your voice is good. Yeah, OK, they're they're nice. Very they'll push you to do better. But 90% where those messages that I still get like until yesterday about how people still connect so much. And I also as much as I did entertainment once, I also focused on giving people that optimism that it is OK, whatever your stage one, that is the most important thing they feel so many people felt so good and they messaged me back emotionally and it just touched them exactly how I meant to touch them.

Nice. I hope to, to touch them. So I even after three years now and still does because my, my intention when I created that was the same exact thing. So it no, even after 10 years, it'll still do. So that is something that truly felt fulfilling. And I knew I realized that this is what I want to do. So I always wanted to do that. I clear clarity. I got to know that Yep, absolutely. This is what any any bit of wisdom that I learn, I want to share it because all I know that everybody is suffering and I'm not pessimistically saying correct.

And Andriki, that's more than enough. Like, like a hand show on the shoulder, right? This is this is OK. This is absolutely OK. Is that is all that I want. OK, So nice. So I know social media, there's a lot of positive though, obviously, but any trolling, Have you faced anything like that? Yeah, it's so weird that there are many people who asked me that. I say no, I did not starting you. I think okay, one or two videos. No, because I was. Yeah, that one was an idea of one of the teammate talking about how a bachelor woman would feel about Pelli, something like some other fun comedy thing that they suggested.

So I did it. So some weird comments or something? Something I don't know. Yeah. The typical gender, gender politics and all of that. But that is more of like honestly, those dialogues, video dialogues also was not mine teammate because she was I was I was married by then. I had a daughter so I did not know how to She's like, OK, I'll do that. I voice for the same thing. But she was like, no, there was this girl formed like Chesidani Kabuti and the young get married. So I did that Angelo and if I had to pick and search, but that's it.

That's it. No rolling at all. Absolutely. OK, OK, You're lucky I guess in that sense, because I've heard some horrifying stories as well. Oh, no, 100%. I think it's just that the subject that I've picked and what I focus on, there's no, there's no quite of exactly OK. It is not something safe that I chose. That is what it is. So thankfully, Andre, we cannot search and even if you do I'm there's nothing I will, I will not react to it also. OK, no, that that is amazing. That is amazing.

So that you think in visuals like whatever any story that comes up or whatever you're talking about, it came you think in visuals on Nargada. So how is that like for you? Like can you maybe like give me an example of a day-to-day Anandi or any story? How does that thought process kind of like work for? You honestly any any topic, any subject, anything that I listen to, how do I explain Yeah, maybe my recent video about. So basically when I was pregnant and right after gave birth and birthday is on July 4th.

So Abdu, it's not my first birthday as a mother Abdu. I I could I read a quote about how a mother cannot see the child, but the child knows that it is inside. So I visualize so like a mother like as if she was sitting on a moon or something, outer space lager and a child living son, but the same drawing over the years, over three years now last year are the same thing that universal mother is Amavaru. So it's the same concept. You're all in the same womb of existence and then we're not aware of it.

And it is through her that we are even living and we are all feeling all of it and we're getting all of it. So the same thing. So I again, with the current experience of practice Santa, I literally redrew that you'll see a tremendous difference in the. First time. First time. Yeah, but the same base concept in the but that whole voice over that I gave was that the child local I drew the child in a world itself and then outside my mother just holding on in the universe itself. So I like some visually, I like Hanuman.

Hanuman Ramayana is one of my favorites. So when I heard the story that Hanuman is the initial Hanuman Ramanam Rasaru Anapuru, I like I badly wanted to put it forth. I wanted. To spread it. How do I do that analogy frame by frame at this moment? Because he's Chiranjeevi, I tried to show him a little older and wiser and right. Not like that warrior Hanuman, but that very subtle sadhu like Hanuman. So I knew old gun. Typical Hanuman into a monkey in a human form. Not very attractively manly so.

And then Valmiki again, Hanuman, thank you. So that's how I like I imagine and put forth. So that's how I. So do you have like ideas? I probably explore 11 after the other overtime or is that like, do you do you have something like that in your process, like where ideas come up when you're either cooking or taking care of your kid and then you go back to it and kind of like explore how like. Yeah, so like I said, because I overthink a lot constantly. And at one point I realized that

too many ideas, especially after like. Pregnancy time law. The pregnancy brain. Pregnancy brain. I get it. Yeah. So initially when she was an infant and literally I started booming into this thing when she was an infant and Napudu, it is most difficult. I get very easy because I was just holding her. She was sleeping on my arm and I used to drop so easy. And versus right now she's a toddler. I have to engage, I have to teach her a lot and then and I cannot completely ignore her to do my work. And this is a this is a kind of a job where you have to invest your mind with complete attention and peace.

Sure, like oh, an impossible correct. So you have to search for that alone time to sit and think about, even think about. Yeah. So yes, I write down. I started doing that because there's no choice. But usually I'm that idea, I just do it as is, like I'm like a Google with some 5000 tabs open and they're all there are the problem. Not, not not 1020 hundred 5000, no, 110 more times like oh, Aruja Kaidi watching that I touch the tab and that opens up. So, Miro, do you always carry your iPad and your drawing materials along around with you wherever you go?

Yeah, I mean a long drive, I will take it, but at this point I've realized I still don't have time to go sit in the holiday time to open my iPad. So phone is enough for now. I take a book and a pen OK but phone thankfully does everything so I have my notes fully full. OK, OK. Yeah, Because my sister, I have a younger sister. She's the artist. Like I cannot, I cannot draw or anything. She's the artist, but what she does is she has this small journals and book pencils and books that she takes wherever she goes, like coffee place Kelina like put a tourist Mona put Mona Europa the yellow chair and Mata Kuchintaru.

She she also she has a three 3 1/2 year old son and Mata she has. A toddler. Like in a 5 minutes, whatever I can draw, she draws it in that like capturing, capturing the scene that she's in. And I'm like wow, this is so amazing. I wish I can draw. I can't. You definitely can draw, but it'll end up in your own style. Whatever. That I don't, I don't think that's.

A style that. Is true, probably. But yeah, so I can so I can clearly see what you mean by that. But yeah. That's great, yeah. Because we judge ourselves way before then. You can even think of. So like, yeah, yeah. And then I do the same thing. I tremendously touch myself so. Especially where, I mean, I can also relate to the fact that I'm an overthinker too. But also like I am a certified yoga and a breath work instructor on Marta. So that has helped me, you know, calm myself down. Like even when I get into those moments of overworking I just take that time for like even 5 minutes of concentrated breath work can help calm my mind down.

And then again journaling, writing, all these help me so I can totally relate. 100% I agree. I agree. I know, I know a million times one time. We're always listening, reading about how breath works help, breath works help and all that. But it is true. Same thing. Totally, totally, it is true. No, it's not that breath work. It's not that breath work. You do it, Yeah. No, that's what like Nano when I went and kind of like started doing the certification, they teach you the different kinds of breath work, right?

And then OK, different sequence. OK sequence, slow chest there, it'll give you energy Inco sequence, slow chest there, it'll calm you down. It will help you fall asleep faster. So there are Indian ski what I find is different.

Nope. Exactly. Exactly. No, I get it. Yeah, totally. So you said like you talk about a period of deep questioning. You know, you ask yourself, what's my raise on it here? I think that's the exact word that you put in there, right? It's a French, French phrase. What did that phase actually feel like? And maybe if you want to again want to go into why that period of uncertainty came in, what it felt like and how did you process and get out of it? Yeah. So that was randomly, that was a problem that I randomly came across and that immediately struck with me and I still continue to.

That is a very important question that I still ask myself. Of course I have the answer now, but, and I'm many, many years ago and I also was a part of web designing for a few projects. So I was always into this whole creatively thing and I almost started doing this. What is that called app designing UI, UX UX by then illustration finalized this color. So I really thought for my creative mindset, UI UX would be good, right? So so that that period when I was trying to figure out what my purpose of life was, I know I was a very curious seeker.

I know for me either for deep learning is very important and proper matured true learning is important and I know I think very creatively and it's very important that aesthetically building something perfect is itch that I have. I cannot do that. See when he combined this is trying to figure out I did the painting and stuff and even Nika Kundai has this immense feeling of being useless felt very useless. I'm like, if I don't do it, I'm like wasting. I mean just just being a homemaker is a beautiful thing.

Obviously, just so many things to do Chala chala chala Anthony like that's how all the tabs side by sidely have to follow. But that wasn't enough for me. Not the part, not like a feminist. I want to work Alokado. There is something I meant to do and I don't know what that is. And if I don't do that, I'm going to feel useless. I cannot stop feeling useless was a very years I suffered with that. Initially I used to think that if I don't do anything respect you see my other parents, moms and grand moms and is like you're using your husband's money and I don't want to continue the same thing.

But that was not my intention. My intention was to do something very valuable that is useful for the world. I don't know what that is, but I want to do so I was suffering a lot with that. So that is when that what is my raise on that was always stood by me for a long time. This is like out of the blue pouring of the universe something. So I applied and I started drawing, you know, just to none. I was very happy. Honestly, it is very, very pretty much impossible for me to do that at that point of my time when when my daughter was like 6 to 8 months old and I had to draw and create projects and voiceover and editing and none of that.

I know because I've never done that before. Correct. And I signed up for like weekly 5 videos. It was overwhelming, but it was not at all. It was like, I love doing it. And he used to sleep for two hours a day by default. A new mother sleep for like an hour. A day, right?

So but I enjoyed thoroughly and with so and when people reacted authentically emotionally how that really gave them the peace and they're like they literally sleep listening to it with the peace that they have anxiety movies when I felt yes, yes, and this is what I want to do yes. So Melaga occasionally is to bring spiritual videos the the spiritual because my intention is not like Hindu Dharma Gopathi no, not that truth. It is not talking about religion more. Sharing what you believe in. Yeah. No, it's about what the truth is.

True universal truth. What is it?

So don't do it bluntly. Try to understand the meaning of it as simple as possible. Not to and is to do that occasionally is like a very clear cut. I know that that is for sure. I'm going to spend my life doing. That is nice. That is awesome. Creativity requires you to keep showing up, you know, even even through self doubt, even through emotional exhaustion, like, you know, self doubt, another constant petty, like even when you put yourself across, even when you feel like, when others feel like you're successful, sometimes that self doubt still plagues me sometimes.

And you know, raising a kid that to a toddler, I mean, whatever age, your parenting itself is again, emotionally exhausting. But what kind of a discipline do you have that helps you move through that even in the hardest of days? Honestly, there wasn't a point where the recipient went away again because I was so confused. There's so many things to do and priority. Then if aspect call out the leaders, the self satisfaction of doing this or raising the child right or doing everything correctly at home first.

So by the way, discipline, Tagadam, discipline, clarity, Radam. And I know that the kids grew so fast. They're like so big. So OK, it's fine. Now that I know what my path is, I know what my destination is. The speed does not make a difference much because they're going to grow and it will not come back, so might as well. So I'm not feeling, I'm not judging myself too much. So I was like, okay, might as well note down my ideas. If not today, two weeks from now, I can always do it. Annie, I came down to peace with it.

OK? It took some time for that also, but ultimately discipline is that I want to do it. If not today, tomorrow I want to do it. OK, So that our final goal is where it helps, but at the same time feeling satisfied doing the other things also. So yeah, just feeling satisfied with what you are already at. Gives peace. OK, OK. You have been like Manamatlar Kunadan Bhatti, you've been, it feels like you're very deeply shaped by our Vedanta and our Indian spiritual traditions. How does your philosophy, that philosophy that you're imbibing actually show up in your work and your daily life?

Like, not just an idea like, but more like in your day-to-day practice. Yeah. So what is the ultimate thing that the Vedanta says that what about Brahman and that that you were that and a practice knee trying to. So that is stage by stage. Sometimes it happens parallely all the three stages. Sometimes it's one after the other, but usually it's one after the other. So how much you stick by it. I keep forgetting that particular word where I always forget this particular one word for whatever reason, where you know, it's like you preach something and you do something else.

You know that I run into me. Not practicing what you're preaching or something like that? So Chase Dokhity, that is 11 big rule that I absolutely cannot imagine myself to. I will never do what I I will never say what they don't do. So and that starts with my own child. You cannot go start screaming on a child. Do this. Do that while you sit lazy or things like that. Right, so Adin I'll help out on so I all the time applies day-to-day life. So I am am I seeing everything with equality, equality and not male, female.

It's like what is that everything is same and applying the same principles. What you've learnt on every that you read or understand, every guru that you see, what they're saying and how peaceful are you? I love peace, I love peace and chappy Manarju durute makes no sense. So how peaceful are you and how much are you following all the Yamas and Niyamas, all the things? Yeah, I am absolutely trying my best to follow all of that, which is why Per Gap could have passed one year ago. I'm not posting much of the videos also.

So people are still waiting with the same eagerness. And I'm like extremely touched. And sometimes I used to regret a lot. I'm like, Oh my God, why am I not doing correct? But then it is like on recent times that I got the real, the clarity that I put even until, you know, 2023 low when I start illustration journey. When I started growing well, the seed that is supposed to be planted was in the right soil at that time, correct? So the correct seed and the right perfect fertile soil with all kinds of nutrients required padding the plant Grove, the sapling blue.

So it started And when you see your plant growth around the first few weeks or something, roots are growing. So at this moment, at this point, I'm very clearly building my roots really, really strong. Nice. So the moment that I know that I and you'll feel it and that is when the root is strong enough is when the tree will go. So and then I'm like, absolutely, I'm not worried. Yes, I will do it. I know for sure I will do it. I'm not going to go out of this, but might as well build my roads, which I'm doing pretty much all the time.

Trying to set up ideologist 2 and two and teaching my kids the same, my kid the same thing. Yeah, yeah, that is all. My room is all around the same things. Yeah, so there's a lot of tension, like as a creator, like, again, acceptance. It takes a little bit of a time, but there is a lot of tension that creative people face when it comes to authenticity and validation. External, external validation, right? There comes a time like acceptance that I don't care about the external validation, whether I get it or not.

I want to do what I want to do for my authenticity, for my truth and the stage rad Aniki time part. Correct. Correct. So how did you navigate that tension or was it like it maybe? How long did it last and how did you come out of it? I would say. Honestly, beginning, even when I worked with Chi Biscuit, all they said this was that you create content in your style, whatever that is, but it has to be applicable to all the younger generation and girls. And so I got the complete freedom and liberty. I was my own.

I wrote my own script, I do my own drawings, I do my own animation, and I voiced over music everything by myself, right? So even Dante, I was my own competition. My yesterday's work was my today's competition. That was very inspiring and I just did it. I thought this would be would I like it right and then of course, I watched a direct. The first video Camellian view Sunny Rao starts at 1015% something correct initially. OK, there are big comments also. Yeah. OK, this is nice. This is interesting.

I was happy with all of that. OK, so I remember like my first when I got my first thousand followers, I was like jumping in joy. Wow, 1000 finally after for a long time. So I was like, so not going into external validation of course is always very, very good, very nice. It feels good. But my thing was never around it somehow. It was a crucial part for sure. So that was, that was not the goal. That was not the, that was not the goal. If I did some drawing that I was not satisfied with and everybody loved it, I would still not feel fully satisfied.

Although something wrong, I know that I did not do it. My 100% and a feeling continue so. And there is some cases where I did some videos with immense love, but that did not go well much and just just didn't go. Sometimes algorithm will love it too and all that. And Melville Instagram kept changing their all the time all the time. Oh my God. Point algorithm, which means that there was no engagement, so I did not do also so. But ultimately I have to. I have to. I cannot imagine doing something and anything.

So I scrutinize a lot what I'm doing, what I'm going to bring, how useful. Even if it is just for 30 seconds, it has to be useful enough if I'm taking a 30 seconds, right? So, yeah, OK. So you never really, so you, what I'm hearing is that you never really had the tension because the external validation was never the driving force. It was not my own satisfaction had to be it. And if it was good, it always give me A to do better, higher, just like that inspiration that people give honestly, a we are so it's like I'm so unbelievable that in the selfless beautiful girl, they just they just share their energy and blessings just because they were happy with one of the videos, right, right.

So while Andrew an inspiration, I tell them word by word that you're an inspiration. It is because of people like you. We're not aware of all that correct? We go to one or two either functional either Weltham Sagamandi fakes milestone taru. When do we interact that much? Correct. When you are a stranger, you interact and you selflessly interact without any worry. That Walter chest Tarani so the beautiful girls so many absolutely inspiring people to be honest awesome like Mother Teresa level just talking to them is like a blessing love into all million people or not oh wow so that that definitely was the push so on the parliament she said covered together so.

OK, Yeah, that is amazing. That is nice. That is nice.

You're also homemaker alongside being a creative professional. How do you hold both the identities? Like do they complement each other? Do they balance each other out? Or does the balance require effort on your part? Like is it easy or is it? It's all the three about a mental state. Sometimes it compliments so well a beautiful idea of so, you know, your own husband, your own child is your first audience. So yeah, sometimes you're like, not able to do what you want to do. Like they're the ones are pulling you down.

Like just when you get that brilliant idea, they're like, why don't you sit and watch a movie with us? Don't do this. And then after they are like, you did not come, I'm like, Oh my God, I know. So sometimes it's complimenting, sometimes it's pulling me down. And sometimes it's it's the one that pushes me to do better. OK, So it's ultimately you do what your duty is to the best of your capabilities is all that is important. Don't they that anxiety that we did not do it. So just do what you have at that moment and if you can software IT jobs, you cannot just OK, I have time, I can finish my coding.

Creative work is different. Yeah, that's the only issue. So creativity in terms of music or writing or drawing or singing, anything at the Aflura or that is 1. So that is where you have to juggle between. You just have to make peace with that. That's always there. Yeah, yeah, no, totally. Because stress or the rift happens when you're not able to accept things because it's happening in one way, you want it to happen in another way just because you're not able to accept both of them. That. This rift happens.

Yes, absolute softening, yeah. OK, got it. You said growth happens sometimes quietly through, you know, reflection and discipline. It's not like boom, like a breakthrough Chindi on a type.

What is that one? What is one of those quiet, invisible turning points in your life that changed everything? Maybe how you look at stuff or things like that, but nobody else saw that happening within you.

So it's like a lot of moments are nice. So I don't know which one to point out. It's like maybe the most. Recent one or Yeah. Yeah, the most recent turning points was like when I finally I'm like it's been 3 months since I put my daughter in play school, daycare, whatever that is, right? So I'll do and then until then I pulled my driving part. I do not drive really until then India Okay, so it's only been three months since when I finally have my own car and I go drop her and so I get to go to the park go walk around miles and miles alone.

Nice. That's so and when I'm walking in that forest like park and then just looking at nature is that tremendous calm times where I could just contemplate a lot while driving. I use my car driving for that knowledgeable time. Absolutely. It's like my husband says, your car, how was that? Did you design the car like a temple? How was that possible? So it is like my car. So it's like a swan. So I use it for that meditative purposes. And so that is one such. And then there was this Dakshina Murthy, painting guru Dakshina Murthy, he has to be OK for you to do it, correct?

Lagi lagi. And then last year November, I finished it. Wow. And then and it is like it's one of my, it's like that right there in my room. And that has become that. It's like it's my that is one one. That one is enough for me that I can, I would like to take it to my grave with peace. That is that one one painting enough for my whole life, Lala. That. So that was that one quiet moment that gave me tremendous joy and I still do that. And just that is I don't know if you can see but. Oh wow, it's.

Like inverted but. No, no, that, no, no. But that is amazing. Chalabonde. Yeah. Thank you, Andy. Yeah. So it's like Amavaru and. Simu Ardhanari swarulla. Ardhanari so Dakshina Murthy. Hello. Meda shakti anagra. Meda shakti is amavaru OK? It's you cannot differentiate between you and your thinking power, you and your eating power. It's you and your energy to think. How can you separate that if you named your thought process with a name called so. So I did them both correct. Correct. So that study, you know, I, I have this habit of word by word with meanings I write down and I contemplate on them.

And I also have this I think good or bad, it has to be unique. That's another suffering I like. I don't know why I'm suffering with being unique part. That's so, yeah. I mean, again, each of us has something driving us inside and you want to. The way I see it, I can relate to it is like Andaru and the feeling. I guess that's where it's coming from. Yeah, no. And another thing is because I tell you that I see things visually, I have to represent it, correct? How else can I prove it that I do see things usually, right.

So and then when I wrote that suddenly get a tremendous Oh yeah, now this is the time to do like just like, okay, green signal, like just just I just wrote down that word along with all the other namas so that when I sat down whole, I understood the whole where he sits the Diana. I did the Diana of what is form is what is even telling and what is form meaning. So that is one such silent. OK. I think that's still continues to be OK. So because the show is called Portraits of Strength and I truly believe like strength key strength is a is a large spectrum in my opinion.

What is your definition of strength? The strength for me definition of strength is to be that ultimate unshakable piece. So when you're not, when you cannot be shaken by anything not good, not bad, when they not health, not disease and any all the extremes that you talk about anything and everything when you are able to just stay in that uniform uni, just that the ultimate peaceful, non reactive that. Ultimate system, OK, yes. And it's not, you're not trying. You have to be. We have to be very clear and honest with ourselves.

So you come and then you try to irritate me like, no, no, I have to maintain my thing. No, you really shouldn't be affected by it, right? Like that is what I'm done. Not just acting, but like really be inside inside also not being ruffled by anything that's happening around you. That's. Absolutely. Exactly so that our differentiation. I have a dog and he comes and barks and then I'm like, no, you really should not. Yeah, that that has to be done for me. That is the ultimate strength. OK, Yeah, I am too.

That is amazing. So what's next for you? What are you working towards and what kind of work, more or more work do you want to put out in the world? Yeah. So I am under talks with one very prestigious Baldani. I don't know they're construction homes and Mata. So it's been a three-year old discussion. But then so that potentially the 99% chance I'll be working on that because one of brilliant approach world and that nice aligns with my thought process. So that is an immediate thing. But ultimately what I've started a page called Vedic tones that's been my long dream industry in illustration Vedic tones and OK, so that is very surprising.

So I'm going to work on that Vedic tones. So that is my lifetime. Vedic tones is like you're telling stories from the Vedas, right or? Yeah, simplifying the meanings, the true essences and bringing it forward through visuals and stories. OK. It's just that at this moment, there are so many pages doing so many things. So. So I'm like, I don't want to hurry up because that is not what I want to do. It's different. But yeah, when time comes, that opens up. So sure, no hurry at all for me, but definitely my lifetime.

You predict other the next generations. And even after my death, people still have to if you want to find the meaning and if that should give you that relief and understand, make you understand. Picture speaks 1000 words by default already. Yeah, to be able to illustrate and also with meaning. But with meaning. Yeah, nice. There were people into understanding what the essence is, is. That is awesome. Do you have any advice for our listeners who are maybe have this bent of mind where they want to be more self aware or are on the learning path or on the seeking path as you have kind of like mentioned?

Do you have any advice for them?

Honestly, advice is just that the three main things are just be at the present, be satisfied with whatever it is and at this moment because it keeps changing the whole nature of world and time and everything is change, correct? Every minute changes. So either put me on another ultimate kadu any good or bad, everything changes. And Bhagat Krishna, they ask me what's that one thing that makes a person happy happy man sad and a sad man happy any that nothing is permanent. That is what he says so happy so it is so might as well just enjoy whatever just be money attention past you can apply this at any moment at any time correct.

You will understand that you're not in the present. That's the only only time we are stressed so and you'll be happy with and then when you're happy is and enjoy your process of spiritual journey, whatever it is meant to be. That's how it keeps opening. But we have to pull back ourselves for that at least 5 minutes of inner peace every day. That will pull in the long run. Yeah. OK. That is amazing. OK, so let's change our track a little bit. We'll end with a rapid fire question. OK. What's your favorite?

Book favorite book Tripura. OK, what's your favorite song? OK recently so there are two songs I should say. These are my recent most favorites and 1 is is that wise queen who sings a lullaby to her son, the ultimate truth like a lullaby and Marta. So that is my most favorite. And second thing is the Malayalam song called Darshana. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I've heard that song, yeah. Yeah, it's a beautiful song, but then the weird, the unique approaches with that. I I know he sings it for his lover, but the same literal lyrics match when you're singing it for your love, for your universal mother Ammavar also.

So that is why that is my favorite, isn't it? OK. Thank you. Favorite quotation? There are so many. All my life I'm revolving around those.

Which ones? Should I? That's fine. That's totally OK. Favorite movie? Favorite movie? Maybe. No, I think Godhari. OK, Yeah. Greatest fear?

Greatest fear. Yeah, I think it still continues. Maybe, maybe not. But it used to be about all that you. So this is my greatest fear all the time that forgetting all the learnings that. But then I got to know that it is never forgotten. It is very continuous to whether you might forget the surroundings around you, but the lessons don't Never forgotten. Then I was at peace. So no more fear. OK. That is maybe my fear is to be wasting this human life, not doing the ultimate one thing required. So OK.

What's the most courageous thing that you have done so far in life?

Yeah, OK, let me think. They didn't know physical. Either whatever comes to your mind first. Are there so? Yeah, perhaps just jump into illustrating. So I applied to Chai Biscuit that I would like to do 1. And honestly our time key Naninka happened in just two days. In practice JC just opened the app called Procreate. Yeah, Procreate. Yeah, it's been 2 days since I just want to open and like I wanna play OK. And I said, Oh my God, this is start doing so I should say the most avoiding courageous thing that I could.

OK, what's your philosophy of life?

So I don't know, I might always used to be what's your SO, what's your purpose of life? And then just stick by it and understand what you truly love doing. And then when you love doing whatever that is, give me anything. When you realize that that is something that you love, that'll never feel difficult anymore. You just any salges, any good salges now you'll like, you'll enjoy doing it. So and then of course, ultimately important is just being peaceful, just being that still an unwavering and not getting affected by exterior outer stuff.

So.

No, that is amazing. Thank you so much. This was like such an amazing, wonderful conversation. This is one of my favorite things to do. And thank you so much for, you know, agreeing to be on the podcast with me. I don't. Thank you so much, Anya. Yeah, this is also, I should admit that one of the courageous things.

So I'm like my slightly introverted person. Like I don't. I mean, I do talk and I talk, but I don't go by myself and talk much. So my husband gave joking either woman with woman with few words. But I write a lot and my mind has like but the encyclopedia. But so we got. This has to also be thanks to. That is amazing. Harita, thank you so much for sharing your story with such openness and honesty. There's something rare about the person who chooses depth over speed in a world that rewards neither, and I think everyone listening today will feel that.

And to our listeners, if this conversation stirred something in you, sit with it. That quiet feeling. That's exactly what Harita's work is meant to do. You can find Harita on Instagram at Harita Chitta and her full link tree is on the show is in the show notes as well. Go explore her art. It's totally worth your time. If this episode meant something to you, share it with the one person who needs to hear it and leave us a review on Spotify or Apple podcast. It genuinely helps the show reach more people whose stories deserve to be told.

This has been Portraits of Strength and I'm Harry the Anecdotist, and I'll see you in the next one.

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