Work-Life Integration: The Real Secret to Success with Sai Mounika Potti

0:05 Hold on to your ground, there is a reason you are here and there is a reason that you were chosen. Learn your lesson fast, believe in yourself. I think you are going to be your best cheerleader. Its OK, even if you don't fit in, there is always a place for you there and you can make your place.

1:08 Hi everybody. Welcome to another episode of Portraits of Strength. I'm your host, Harry the Anecdotist. On today's episode, we're going to shed light on a trailblazer who hits a trifecta, a young leader, a woman in tech, and a woman of color. Sai Monika Potti is a director of product and test engineering at Texas Instruments in Lehi, UT. You know, rising up to the role of a director in a male dominated industry like semiconductor manufacturing at a young age is no small feat. But Monika has done it all the while navigating life as a mother to a young toddler, which shows us that resilience and balance what they look like for us.

2:01 What makes this story even more remarkable is that Monica beyond, you know, corporate life and semiconductor industry, she's a dancer garnering a growing following online because of her creativity and joy, reminding us that strength also comes in, you know, embracing all your passions that make us whole. So let's dive into the conversations about breaking barriers, leading with courage, balancing motherhood and career, and as well as finding joy in movement. It's my immense pleasure to welcome my dear friend Monica on today's episode.

2:47 Hi, Monica. Thank you so much for joining us today. Hey Harita, thanks for having me over. It's it's actually a pleasure to sit here with you. You know, even you're very inspirational. Well, thank you being a mom and being a single parent and with whatever you've achieved since I've even known you when I moved to Utah, I've always actually looked up to you and I've always, he's been like pleasantly surprised with everything you do so. Thank you so much. For having me over and I hope we can have a great conversation.

3:16 Yes, I'm actually looking forward to this conversation. So let's dive in. Tell me about your childhood, like where you grew up, what what your education was, what how you were as a child. Tell me. No, I'm, I mean, so I started off, I was born in India. So, and then I'm a single child. So I get all the pampering from both my mom and dad, but that's never like been in a, you know, bad way. But it's, it's helped me grow and throughout my childhood, I travelled a lot. So though I was born in India, I did my elementary school in Arizona, Phoenix, OK.

3:57 And then I was here for around 4-5 years and then my dad decided to move. And then I moved to United Kingdom and I was there for a few years. I moved back to India and then back to London again. And I was there a lot of a lot of, yeah, a lot of movement. And it sounds very fancy, but to be frank, it wasn't like as as a kid, I think I struggled a lot in the sense of trying to fit in. Like I'll be here at 1 certain place, I'll make friends and then all of a sudden my dad's like, oh, we're moving again.

4:38 And then it's like a restart. And back then, you know, like 20 years ago, 25 years ago, there wasn't really a lot of awareness as well in terms of being a person of color outside of India. And even the places where I was in, I would probably be the only Indian in school. And just navigating that was hard. And another thing from childhood that was really something that's been inspirational for me is just my dad. He came from a small town in Andhra Pradesh called Mangalgiri. I think it's famous for its Mangalgiri cotton.

5:23 Yes. And he's from like a joint family of five of them. And he's the only one who's kind of actually come out from that joint family and grew up outside of India. Oh, OK. And he is the eldest. So everyone look, you know, look, looks up to him. And for me specifically, like looking up to him is after I was born, he decided that, hey, I want to go and I want to do my masters. And he went to IIT Madras and he studied there. And then me and my mom were in Mangalgiri. And just seeing him that passionate, you know, I think that also kind of helped me to be who I am now, to see that, hey, you can set high goals in life and you can work hard and you can make them happen, you know?

6:18 So, yeah, so I think like just seeing my dad and kind of moving all around, that's something that has made me who I am now. And even like when you said in this tech industry, right, I've always kind of said to myself that it's OK. Even if you don't fit in, there is always a place for you there. And you can make your place, you know, like, it's like you can define what it needs to be. You don't need to go and be another person. People are going to value for who you are. You don't need to change who you are.

7:00 Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. So when did you move to Utah and where were you? Did you work anywhere else other than in Utah? No. So yeah, through this whole jumping around, I actually went back to India. I did my bachelor's in India, OK. And then I went to Singapore for my Master's and I started my career in Singapore, in Micron, Singapore, and then got internally transferred to Utah. Me and my husband, we knew each other from India in our bachelors. And we were in this long distance and it was like, hey, one of us need to make the move, right?

7:42 And then there was this opportunity to move to Utah. I was just looking online. I was like, OK, what do I do? I wanna move to the states. That's, you know, we're on this long distance, we need to make this happen. And then it was either I come and do another Masters or it's like, hey, can I get internally transferred? And then in 2016, I applied for a reliability engineering role here. It was back then, it was a joint venture, Intel and Micron joint venture. And I moved from Micron to the joint venture here in 2016.

8:17 Wow, that's, that's awesome. Yeah. So I've been in the semiconductor industry, so I, I know how male dominated the field is. And added to that, as I said, being a a woman of color in a male dominated industry is not easy. So what were some of the unique challenges that you faced in your career, let's say actually after you came to Utah? Because that woman of color kind of comes into play a lot more here in US, then I would consider that it would play in Singapore. So yeah, tell me about some challenges or biases that you had to face and how you navigated them.

9:01 Right, right. No, it, it, it is a stocking difference. When I was in Singapore, I think the woman to men ratio there was almost equivalent. And when I joined as a young engineer in Singapore, my manager was a woman. OK. And that was nice to see that hey, you know, like there is opportunity and as young engineers you would try to look up to his are there other woman in this leadership roles somebody? Like us? Yeah, yeah. And somewhere like I, I read this book called Lean In. I don't know if you've read it.

9:41 Yeah, yeah. Where she actually says in that, saying that at some point we as in industry and we as in economy and society, we need to stop saying female leaders and it's all just leaders. Yeah, right. We're still not there, nowhere there. Nowhere there we were close. Nowhere close. And then when I first moved to Utah, I was surprised with the, you know, the number of women there and in tech industry and even just joining. I am flashback then it it it was hard. I would be in meeting rooms where I would probably be the only woman.

10:19 Yeah, and it's a meeting of 1020 people and you're the only woman. Yeah. And you're trying to voice out right and you're trying to make sure your opinions are heard right. But I think I've always also grown up as never be shy And if hold on to your ground, right? And a few things that I've believed in is you're putting in the hard work. You know that you are equivalent, right? There is nothing that can stop you from saying that, hey, I'm not good enough for this position here. There's a reason you're there.

10:58 So believing in yourself and never being shy with whatever data you have. Like even if I'm in a meeting where I have to present something and I'm trying to make my point, I go with the facts. I go with what I've pulled, the data I've pulled or the knowledge that I have instead of being like, hey, that person is maybe a white male who is 10 years older than me and has more experience. That shouldn't hold you back. So that's one thing that was it just comes with time and experience. And I think it's just constantly you reassuring yourself.

11:38 And there are also experiences, like 1 experience that I had at work was this is during my pregnancy and I had one particular supervisor back then who is like, oh, you're going to go on a vacation soon. Wow. OK. And and at that point I was like vacation, like, Are you sure what you're talking about? Yeah, You know, and then he kind of kind of brushed out saying that, you know, it was it was just a funny comment. But those are the instances where you don't let those funny comments pass through. I think it what matters most is even if it's funny from the other person, you stand to your values, stand up to it.

12:27 Yeah, stand up to it. And I was like, hey, can you explain to me why do you think it's a vacation? Yeah. You know, and it's surprising that people still see it that way. I know, yeah. It's very surprising, especially when you have those conversations with people, right? Yeah. And and back when I had Radhya, work from home was not a concept as well. Yeah, and I had a tough pregnancy as such. I mean, I'm even amongst my friends, I was one of the first ones to become a mom. So it wasn't like I had like a history or a mom friend I could actually talk through about pregnancy.

13:04 And it was me and my husband just figuring it out and staying away from India or like my parents right now, they live in Japan. And not having them close to you, it gets even harder because nobody is telling you what is right, what is wrong. And I had gestational diabetes and that added on more going to work. I had to like poke myself three times in a day, you know, and you have meetings that don't wait for you, right? And you're, you're still trying to take breaks. You're still trying to, from a carrier standpoint, meet the goals.

13:40 And, but at the same time, you're balancing it all. That is hard. And I still feel that it is not fully open in the, you know, even in the 21st century that we're in. Yeah, It is not an open topic where people are openly acknowledging it. Yeah, unfortunately it's a sad reality. It's a sad reality, yeah. But I think within that sad reality, it's like finding, how do you balance it? Finding who your constants are? And don't be shy from leveraging people, right? And you're not alone in a journey. And without help, you're never gonna make it.

14:22 So if it's like, whether it's your friends or whether it's your husband or your parents, don't feel like you don't wanna ask for help. Use your support system. Yeah, use your support system. And I think fortunately, both from my side and even Narine's side, his parents, we've always had that support and help. So that's helped to balance. And yeah, it's not like you're alone in it and you have to just do it by yourself. You know, what's surprising that in in this conversation that I find is typically, you know, a large like research shows that a large portion, I think about 80 to 90% of the women feel this imposter syndrome a lot.

15:11 What I find refreshing in this conversation so far is that I don't see that in you, but I want to talk. I'll dive in a little bit deeper. Is it something that you still feel? And if you do feel you're, it's not showing out in your, in the way that you're talking. So how are you countering that? No, no, I mean imposter syndrome. That's a word I battle every day, OK. And it's it's interesting that you bring it up because when I first got this director job, it's been a year now, and my fellow directors, they're all men.

15:51 I was the first woman director. And like you said, of color and age and age, yeah, ageism is a big thing, you know, for sure. And just coming in, I was, I was battling imposters in them every day, even now. And one thing that really struck me is I had a peer. I used to meet with him almost every other week, mainly trying to get mentorship. But also he is a person who is actively in our women's employee resource group. And so he was an ally. Yeah, he was an ally and a safe space, you know, And I used to have this conversations with him saying, hey, I feel this.

16:41 I feel like maybe I'm into this role too early. Maybe I need 5 or 10 years more. And he said this to me saying, hey, Monica, there's a reason you're here and there's a reason that you were chosen. Yeah. And you need to stand up to it in the sense that whenever you feel like you're running into this imposter syndrome or you're running into this, I'm not good enough, remind yourself that I am here because I was chosen to be here and I'm the right fit to be here. Is it going to be a journey? Yes, right.

17:19 Overnight, is my whole department going to believe in me saying that, hey, you're the right person for me? No, it's not going to be that way. But it's like who's in the ship with you, right? Or who is going to be that anchor that's going to hold you down? Figuring that along the way and sticking to your principles and sticking to the why behind why was I chosen and not changing yourself, right? That gets important. Yeah, I struggle every day, not just about hey, am IA good enough director, but even in multiple hats that I wear am IA good enough wife, Am IA good enough mom, Am IA good enough friend, Am IA good enough daughter.

18:06 You know all those. I question it every day, right. With the hustle in life that we have and especially for women who are trying to balance career and I have a young toddler it it's hard and sometimes one once someone told me this again at work. I have these therapy sessions where they give you professional help, which I think is another topic we should talk about. Sure. Yeah. But he specifically told me, Hey, Monica, you need to wear your oxygen mask first before you can put it on for everyone else, you know, and, and it's true.

18:48 I think there are days where if you feel like it's overwhelming, it's overwhelming. You focus on yourself, get yourself back up and then and then you're you can make it at that point, right? I may come across like, Hey, I'm this confident woman, but not really. I think there is there is a guard that you put right for sure. And everyone does that. But I'm also not shy to say that every other day or every other week I breakdown and that's normal. And I think as women, we are more emotional, you know, and it's our strength.

19:27 It's our strength. Exactly. And it's OK. It's OK to say that it's hard and you are working on it as a journey and you're taking it one step at a time. That's that's amazing. Who would you say is your inspiration? I know you talked about your dad, where you get that drive by seeing him go behind, go behind his passion. But other than your dad, do you have any other person, living or dead or fictional, whatever it is, right? Who inspires you to give your best every day? I, I, I would say it's not one person, OK.

20:10 You know, I think throughout my life, I've picked up on different incidents and different people that have taught you a lesson or that have inspired you in a certain way. And there are multiple as such. And you, I know you said fictional, right? Even fictional like I would, I'm a big Harry Potter fanatic, you know that, right? And we, we share that in common for sure. Like I remember reading that as a kid. And I think five years ago I reread it again and I'm. I was surprised when I reread it again on everything that I saw differently.

20:57 Yeah. Like that you wouldn't pay attention to when you the. Situation in life makes you see it differently, right? Yeah, like even characters like Luna Lovegard, where she, I think she talks about just through life, how there's a way for things to come back to you. Oh, yeah. And that's, that's so true. Like there you could be a certain day. You could be like, hey, you know, I suck, I'm in failure and and life has a way to bring it back. And another one was Molly. And especially the one particular thing that stuck to me was like, not my daughter.

21:43 Yeah, at the last year. Yeah. And I'm like, that's me. Like if some, you know, if somebody is coming against my daughter or you know, as as a mom, you just put it up. And I think when I was a kid, I didn't really understand motherhood, right? So I think there are different things like whether it's fictional that add on and even Hermione, right? Like where she says that, hey, you have emotions in the scale of a teaspoon or something, right? And that shows that women are emotional, like I said, and and things that you learn.

22:18 So Harry Potter was something that I keep reading. I think I'm due to read it again. Sure. Another incident that has happened in my life that has stuck to me is during my masters in Singapore. That was actually the first time I actually came out of this bubble of me, my mom and the three of us. We were very we were very close knit because of travelling so much. So I was never like cousins like yes, I used to meet cousins once in a few years, but I never had this. Hey, this is my best friend, cousin, even friends.

22:57 I made friends and then I'm moved places again. I'm making new friends, but I did leverage on friends quite a bit. But to me, my world was my mom and dad. So like you're emotionally you are not being attached to yeah, any other. Friends. Yeah, so. Because of constant travel. Constant travel and they were always there. It was that safe space. And then when I first moved to Singapore is when I kind of broke that bubble and I'm like alone to myself. Felt like yes I have freedom now but it also taught me a lot where like I said, sometimes people teach lessons sure so there were a lot of friendship breakups.

23:39 I would say that taught me a lesson, but one of the biggest life turning thing that I faced was I lost a best friend through a car accident. Oh man, and it was hard I. Was really sad, yeah. It was so one fine day, I'm at work. So we, we did our masters together and then I'm at work and then one of our friends in a common WhatsApp group, they message saying that, Hey, guys, it's, it's a sad day that we lost. So there were actually two people in our friendship, you know, in our group, two people who we lost.

24:18 One of them was a really good best friend of mine. And I get a message. I'm like, is this a practical joke or like what is happening? Like, I didn't buy it, you know, And then it was real. And what happened was it was a car accident. Five of them, they were on their way back from Malaysia to Singapore and after attending a friend's wedding and all five of them were gone. And that's when I, I, I, I truly felt in terms of like, we get stuck into day-to-day life, small, small things where you don't appreciate them enough.

25:05 And there is this overpowering energy above you that you don't have control over. And losing that friend was hard for all of us, I'm sure. And I wasn't prepared. They never prepare you for death, right? Nothing in life ever, nothing in life ever prepares you for that. And going through that, I think I learned it was a lesson. Not not exactly a lesson, but something where I'm like, be in the present, enjoy your present. You're never gonna have control over tomorrow, you know? And it's, it's OK. It's OK where sometimes you're stuck in the past or sometimes you're like worried about the future, but there are however good you try to make it, however hard you're trying, life happens, you know, so that that was another big incident in life that still is stuck in my head and then more inspirational people.

26:12 My maths teacher in in school OK and I was in India OK, So there was this brief period, I think from 7th grade to 9th grade I was in India and again, I'm constantly trying to fit in right. I came back from United Kingdom and now I'm here in India and trying to fit in there. And it was we were in this apartment and she used to live downstairs that is old couple and she was retired. But she used to take some maths classes, OK. And it was she was very inspirational like in the sense that whenever I used to go to her home, they used to be this, this background music, I don't know.

27:01 And in in Chennai especially like she was from a Brahman family. Classical. Classical music and classical Indian Carnatic music, Carnatic music and it's around 6:30 in the evening. I still remember it is when my classes. So she used to be always this person where she lights up at the yard 6 in the evening and a lot of times I'm early for some reason I don't know. And she used to. I used to be a part of that prayer. Nice. And I still remember I used to every day get crap about not wearing a bindi because she used to like give me vibhuti and she'll make she's not wearing a bindi and then she'll make me and those small things.

27:40 Now if I back then I was like, why is she like this? And now if I think of it, it's like just those small nice things. Like shows their love shows. Their love for you, it is. It is not that, Hey, do you believe in God or do you believe in traditions? But it's a way of how they show love towards you. Yeah. And right now in this world and I, I want to figure out how I'm gonna do this with my little one, is the amount of respect that you have for your teachers, You know, Yeah, has changed so much totally in the past.

28:14 I agree. Several decades and generations 1. And it's both ways. I think back then, naturally the teachers used to be in a way that you gain respect for them. Now, I don't know, right? It's like people in their day-to-day life and it's more like what what you're taught culturally as well. Has it become a business model? Hey, I'm paying you so you owe me? Or is it more like, Hey, you are my guru. You know, I think I. Think it's that concept of guru, right? Yeah, I think that is, yeah. I see what you're saying.

28:55 And not everything that we had as teachers were, I would say was were perfect or not, but it's also like there are certain things that were really good. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get it. Yeah. And, and I think few things I picked up at least from her was the discipline piece. I think if you're not disciplined in life and discipline is a controversial word, right? Like in the sense that you can define what discipline means. So I. So that would that's a good segue. So like, what is discipline to you or in what way do you see yourself implement discipline in your career or life or whatever, right?

29:34 Yeah. I mean, I think it is one you sitting and figuring out what is discipline. Do you mean like a discipline? Something that I say this is discipline to me may not be for you. True, because it's a. It's a huge range. It's a huge range and it is figuring out what are the three or four or five things that are important for you and sticking to it. OK. And that's how I see it is whether it is at work, Oregon, whether I'm at home, Oregon, whether like you said, dance. I always think of it as when I'm there and when I'm in that thing, I'm going to try to give it my 150%.

30:13 And then rest is, you know, up to the energies that you don't have control over, OK, because you never can control. Yeah, not everything. Not everything is like even to my team, I tell them like, if there are people that come in and they're like, hey, this is happening. That is happening. That is I'm like, let's pause. Let's focus on what we have control over and how that will make an impact. Then what we don't have control over. If we focus too much of our energy into what we don't have control over, then it's it's going to be hard.

30:48 And that's what I've learned. I learned from my teacher where as a kid I was struggling in the sense of, hey, I, I am new. The way I've taught, I've been learned. Like back in United Kingdom, how maths was to how it is in India is quite different. Yeah. And I used to be hung up over things that were beyond my control. And what my teacher really helped me on was focus on this, focus on this one problem that you're trying to solve. Forget about, hey, I'm not getting algebra. Focus on geometry today, you know, and worry about that later.

31:25 So that's something that I constantly, I'm not good at it. Even now I still, you know, think about all the 100 problems that can exist and woman and I'm an overthinker is, you know, something I battle, but it's give what you can and then be genuine in it. OK. Right. So that's why and the moment you figure out that this is going against your values or this is going against you being disciplined, don't you know, find your exit from there, find it fast. That's nice. That's a good way to put. It yeah, because whether it is people, whether it's friends or whether it's a hobby or trying out and you're like, oh, I don't think I like this anymore.

32:20 It's OK to give up on it and try something else that you believe will take you to where you want to go, right. I always like learn your lesson fast. OK. And don't stay on it long, right? Especially if you're not enjoying it. Yeah, and I say this, but I'm, again, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not that good at it as well. But I say it, you know I. But actually, at least you're learning or trying to implement it, right? Yeah.

32:52 You said you love, like literally you are like living every day and in the moment and giving your 150% to it. Does that mean you're not a planner or are you a planner or like, what is your personality over there? No, I, I used to be a very good planner. I think life happens where now it's become more of how am I surviving the day? OK, you know, and that's not it's not good to say I'm surviving the day I I feel like, but I think. But that's the life when you are a mom of a toddler, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, my, my days start so early, like I'm getting up at 5:00 or 5:30 in the morning so that I can pack her lunch.

33:40 And then IA lot of days I have to be at work by 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning. And I'm so glad to have a husband that I have that he he he's been a great support system for me. I think that I won't be able to do what I am doing without him. And somewhere I was, I think some podcasts or somewhere I was reading, it's like a couple is never going to be a 5050. It's going to be like there are days where you have to be 150 and there are days where you're going to be even just 10%. So that's I think something that's helped me and planning.

34:27 I plan when it is necessary. OK. That's what I would say. And I also along the way have learned that you can't always plan it. You need to leverage on people to plan it, but how do you direct those people to plan it the right way? So yeah, I think I used to be a really good planner. Like even when we, I used to travel a lot. That's something I miss now. And I used to have these Excel sheets of every day. What is the itinerary? What is the place we're going to eat? What is the budget around it? Now I'm just showing up on a vacation.

35:10 So I, I, I definitely think that I'm, I'm not great at planning now, but it's, I think it's just navigating life and when you can find time to plan. I I still believe in planning, but right now I'm just going by the day. You know, there's this buzzword that's like thrown around so much the about work life balance. What do you think about that? I think the only way to get around it, if you're again, a controversial term career focused woman, don't want to say that, but if career is something that's important for you, you need to make work a part of your life.

35:53 There is nothing called work life balance. There's nothing called I'm at an 8 to five job. It is more of how do you make that job a part of your work, part of your life routine. I even though right now I'm out of work, right, but I'm constantly thinking about work. I'm sure you know, I was telling this to one of one of my managers. I just hired a new manager. She's new into the role and I was telling her just the other day that the amount I think about every single person in the team is like there is nowhere close to what they would even probably think about me.

36:34 Like I'm constantly thinking about OK, what is good for this person? What is good for that person. I treat work in my team and my department more like my family. Like how I am trying to look out for Radhya, saying this is what is going to be good for Radhya. This is what is good for her future. That's why I think of my team on what is going to be good for my team. How are they going to progress? How am I going to progress this team ahead? So embracing work as a part of life gets important and but there are going to be days where you feel like you need that break from work as well.

37:17 I'm I'm definitely not good at it. On those days where I'm like, I'm done with work, I need a break. There are days I come home and I tell Narine I think I want to quit. And he'll be like, pause, breathe. You're just telling me this today. But if you take two days off of work, you'll be like, oh, what do I need to do? Narine? You know, I'm bored kind of a thing. So until and unless you make like work as a part of your life, you're not going to be able to enjoy work and work life balance is what you deal with day-to-day.

37:57 If there is a day that my daughter needs me and she has something at school and you showing up for her is most important, you prioritize that that day. So there are days you would prioritize life and there are days you would prioritize work. If my factory is lying down and you need to be there nights, you'll be there nights. You have a support system that you've built who can take care of home when you need to be there for your family, you'll be there for your family. That's what I say is work life balance.

38:32 You'd say more like work life integration and not a balance. Yeah, it's more of an integration of work, life, your hobbies, everything. Then you will get peace. Otherwise, I feel you're never you're going to constantly try to figure out what does the balance look like. That's that's a great way to look at it for sure. So tell me, what is it that drives you like you've achieved? You know, we've come up to being a director at a young age. You have a loving family, but what is that internal why that drives you?

39:13 That's a hard question. The internal why that drives me. I I think figuring out the why is hard and I still think I've not figured it out. OK. You know, I, I, there are days where I'm like, This is why I exist. And there are days where I'm like, why do I exist? Sure.

39:44 You know, I think that existential crisis comes up every now and then. Yeah, yeah. And what really I think drives me is if I feel like I am moving, I am achieving. I am a person where I need a fast-paced life. How much ever I crip about it I think. You thrive in the. Speed. I thrive in the speed. One of my friend was telling me that, hey, you're trying to live a Californian life in Utah. And I'm like, it's not that I'm trying to live a Californian life in Utah. It is just how I am intrinsically built that I, I just need that hustle and that hustle for the day may feel like I didn't really do anything today.

40:39 I'm just moving from here to here. But every six months or every year, just pause and think about, hey, what did what, what, what did I move? Like what, whether it's from work or whether it's at home, like what, what did I accomplish in that six months? And if you even have two things to say to yourself, I think that's that. That itself feels like success.

41:05 So I would say that what drives me every day is how do I work towards like, I mean, whether it's at work, where am I inspiring another person, a girl, or whether it's at home. With respect to Radhya, how am I constantly trying to find what is the best for her? I think you're always as a parent you're constantly trying to find. It's always at the back of your mind, It never stops. It never stops. And even if you see your kid fail or even if you like, there is this court in Telugu they say that kaki pilaki, kaki mutu.

41:48 Yeah, I believe in it, you know, And I think even my parents believed in me in that way. What drives me is those small things and not just not just monetary stuff, like, hey, how you know, how much am I earning? Not that, but I think it's those small impact that you make in people's life. Like couple weeks ago, my dad was like, hey, Monica. Like he never calls me Monica. Actually. He'll be like, I did Benghari or, you know, something like that. And he was like, you know, we're proud of you. And just hearing that statement feel like, oh, OK, this, you know, I've.

42:27 Full validation. Full validation, yeah. You know, I think getting that validation from the people who matter, I think that's what I thrive for. The validation from my team, from my daughter, from my husband, from my parents, from my friends. That's what drives me. OK. Who would you say is your source of strength? Source of strength. I don't think there is one person and I I always feel like I'm trying to find that source of strength within myself and I think it is important for everyone to acknowledge that.

43:14 One thing that I really like an analogy standpoint is a duck right where they're like constantly paddling under the water. And then from top you see the the duck calm, right? I think that's how I see myself and even most people. I would say, if I ask you that question, what, what would you say? I think my, for me, my source of inspiration is Purvi, because the reason it's the source of inspiration or the drive for me is because I want to show her that you can achieve whatever you want. And the only way that I believe I can show her that is by example.

44:11 That's very. True, that's literally what it comes down to. No, it is for me. Yeah, yeah. It is like leading through example, right? Yeah. And that and it scares me, you know, like even when I think of like Radhya and I'm like, am I setting a good example? Is she seeing what you know she can be capable of ones that she can break boundaries, especially in this society, right. Like we think that we're in this 21st century and things have changed. It's not true. To be frank, I'll I still have not gonna take names, but I still have friends where like women are seen as they're meant to be at home.

44:56 Take care of kids and take. Care of and take care of their husband, a grown ass man. Yep. Sorry Sorry for the language but like I've seen I've seen friends where they go give a glass of water, they go and grab their shoes for the husband. At this age in life you don't think the grown ass man can go and grab a glass of water for himself? For. Himself, right. And what example are you setting for your kids and family? Yeah, and that's what I strive for every day is between myself and from Narine. What what does Radia see in US, right and even and even at work, like am I setting an example that the new newer engineers can actually go and can they actually go and make things happen?

45:49 Like I had to hire a section head in my team and she was very young and lesser years of experience with high potential. Like you can see she's a driver and I had an option where I was going through the interview process, I was thinking of another person who has more experience, more number of years and all of that. And then I go to my boss and I ask him, what do you think I should do? And he was like Monica, just like how we believed in you, you need to believe in and give a chance, you know? So I think the more examples you set and the more opportunity you give, that's where people are going to see that, hey, I can do it too.

46:32 If she can do it, I can do it too. So that's what I, you know, even at home with respect to Radhya or at work with younger engineers, even in dance, I feel like I spend a lot of time at dance. 1 is for my own personal self, but 2 is also like hey break the cliche that if you're a mom and you have a work that you know that is very demanding, you can't go and dance. No break that and run after opportunities. Like recently I've started like moving into trying to get into hip hop and stuff like that.

47:11 You know, like go and don't let anyone hold you back. I know we spoke about teachers and stuff like that. Even even in real life, if there's a teacher or your boss at work is holding you back from growing, that is your like. It's your time to move on. It's your time, it's it's your reality check. It's it's like red flag. You know, know that this person is holding me back. Not for you. Respectfully, move on and seek that strength in yourself. Nice. How would you describe your leadership style? What like, what's your leadership style and how would you say motherhood has shaped it for you?

48:03 No, it it, it has. I think that So there is this. Have you heard of this thing called disk profile? You might have. Yep. So there's this thing called so D stands for dominant, I is more like influential. And then I said steady and C is conscientious. So I took this when I was a early leader, but I had a small team. And when I took that, I was heavy around the D. And it was because of how I was as a person, very direct. I was very low on the I side of things because I would go get to the point, not this very social person.

48:50 I won't go and have a 10 minute long talk about how was your day and then. To the point. Yeah, to the point that's how I was and I was very much focused on results and focused on business and focused on that. I think what motherhood actually helped me is gain a new perspective of you need to help the team and grow the team and make them achieve success. So right now what I really believe in is investing time in the team, helping them figure out decisions and helping them get into the space of extreme ownership.

49:41 It's not, I would say I'm a successful leader is when I see my teamwork or a person in the team grow and they're achieving results. And they're not saying I did this because my manager said so, but they did it because they believed in it. So, you know, so I constantly thrive in how do I, I have the bigger picture, How do I help the team find that bigger picture? And there is this big famous well in leadership styles, there are different leadership styles. There's also a thing where you need to figure out when do you have to fly high versus fly low.

50:22 So you don't want to always fly high where it will be like you are not involved enough and you're not there for the team enough. Right. And when the results happen, you're like, you celebrate it, but when they don't, you're like, oh, it's because of you, right? Figure out the days where you need to fly low and you're in it with the team and figure out the days when you you have to step out and fly high and let the person go and deliver and achieve it. So that it's that balance of flying high and flying low and be that I always believe in the analogy of the team.

51:04 Like you, I feel like I'm the mom, you know, being a mom, right? And I'm like, if I do this for my child, is that going to be good for that child? The same way I see my team, right is seeing it as that being a parent, you know, so that's that's mostly like my leadership style is heavy around that. Sure. So, you know, as we were talking about earlier, many women and I would, I should say specifically Indian women tend to have a lot of pressure around, you know, choosing family, taking care of your kids over career.

51:49 What helped you reject that framework or that notion? No, I, I think like I said, it is, it is your values and your principles. I wouldn't even say that choosing your family and choosing your kids over your career is a wrong thing. I think it is a choice you make and you need to make that choice on is this what I want to do? Is this what defines me? And if that, if, if the answer to that is yes, you go for that. So I, I truly respect women who choose to be, hey, I want to be at home and I want to focus on my kid and I respect that.

52:36 But if you choose that because of a social pressure, that is when I feel that's not acceptable. And for me, I think I made this choice, just one growing up and always having my parents give me this freedom of you do what you believe you want to do. My dad is in it. He was very pro that I, he wanted me to take computer science and to take it. And I told him, Hey, dad, you know, like I've seen you in it, you're great at it. But what I believe in is electrical, you know, and and he saw that, you know, and having that freedom, right, of making that choice, I think is important.

53:27 And you're always going to be having to battle societal pressures and holding up to yourself and figuring out your circle, who your wavelengths match and your values match. That gets important. It does play a huge influence in your life. Sure. Like if you're always hanging around, like I would be very open if I hang around with like women, and you know, no disrespect that, but women who are mostly at home and taking care of kids, I get into questioning of myself, Am IA good enough mother? It's not because I'm not.

54:12 It is because you're trying to compare yourself. To some others who are there with you. Yeah. Who? And I think you need to recognize that if that's happening, pull yourself out of it. Otherwise, you're always going to be like constantly trying to prove yourself where it's it's it's not a match. Yeah. You know, so figuring, figuring out those situations where you know this person or this, whether it is family or whether it is friends or whoever it is, if they're along the same page of pages, you from a value standpoint, yeah, they say build your army.

54:52 I wouldn't say build your army. I'd say build your small circle of your support support system. That's awesome. Clearly, I mean, I've seen you dance and and your dance profile is out there for with, you know, social media presence and all of that it we can clearly see that it brings you joy. How does that help you in your life and kind of like give you the strength or how has it played a role? Yeah, I mean, I I see it as my time. It, it's a way to destress myself and go and dance it out. You know, the, the piece of social media I would be, I want to be very open about it that you need to navigate it with a good amount of open mindedness.

55:54 Sure, it is not for everyone. You are even if you post something out there, it is one. Yes, maybe there's a piece of it where you're trying to get validation from whomsoever, but a huge portion of it is for yourself. Yeah. Right. And that's how I see it. I'm like, dance is something where I had like almost 3-4 years of a break when I moved to Utah. I danced a lot at work, just all these different social events and all that. And then I took a huge break getting into my pregnancy. I had a hard pregnancy.

56:33 I had like a tailbone injury post pregnancy. So I had to go through physical therapy and all of that. And then COVID hit. Yeah, we were all at home, right? And then the moment when I came back and having this opportunity to just get back into dance, that was quite refreshing. So I do enjoy that there's a dance add stress. There are days dance add stress too. It's not, it's not as rosy as it looks. But like I keep saying it's figuring out if something adds stress, remove it from your leg and find an Ave.

57:09 where you can make it your strength than your stress builder. You know so. Do you see a parallel between dance and engineering?

57:21 Dance and engineering, I mean, definitely right. I think I have always been not Just Dance, but if you know me personally, I'm very competitive and and I don't know if it's like a single kid syndrome or something like that. Even playing board games at home, I'm like constantly trying to win, you know, and Nareen and my family or friends will be like, Hey, it's just a game slowdown. So I, I do see take that parallelism, whether it's dance or at home or it being a mom or being a friend. I'm constantly thriving to I want to be dressed, you know, But I think what gets a little toxic there, I know the word toxic is, is knowing when to stop knowing when to say that no, this is good.

58:20 OK, so dance, as everybody knows, is it's, it's a sign of self-expression. It's a way you express yourself, right? So what does self-expression mean to you as a professional?

58:37 Like for example, I know I mean like at least 20 years ago or 1015 years ago, it was very frowned upon to have like as a professional having something like a social media presence as a dancer or as a content creator or as something else. Yes, that is changing a lot in the last I would say 5 to 10 years. But in your opinion, has it given you challenges has it given you or how do you navigate that or what does that self-expression mean to you as a professional in in the tech industry? Now it it does, I think what has helped me is maybe it's an Indian thing versus, you know, being here outside of India.

59:29 If I was doing the same, if I in India where I was going to work and I still had this social media presence and dance, I think it comes across more as I am not a responsible person. Yeah, yeah. But here, you know, my team, my managers, my peers, everyone know that I dance. They've they've even, they a lot of them even follow me on Instagram. OK. They see it as a hobby that's, you know, like, just like how hey, I'm into photography and I have a page for that. I'm into skiing, you know, and I have a page for that.

1:00:04 I'm into travel, I'm into rock climbing. They see it that way. And I think that has helped me is my team at work. They know I dance, and I've even. Done a few dance sessions at work and to them it is more like I'm spending my time on my personal hobby. It is a stress, you know, Buster, for me. And that has helped me navigate it. Nice. I still don't think I've navigated it fully. Like, a lot of times my parents don't understand it, you know, and there are days sometimes even my husband doesn't understand it.

1:00:43 Sometimes it's the closest people to you who don't. Understand it, right. And I think it is that perception feeling and just, and I've seen it hugely like in India versus versus here where it makes a difference. Yeah. And I'm still able to keep up with it, so. OK, let's switch a little bit. We'll go into rapid fire questions. OK, what's your favorite book? Harry. Potter Harry Potter series What's your favorite song? My favorite song that's I know this is supposed to be rapid fire. I actually like all songs of Imagine Dragons.

1:01:27 It sounds like Oh my God, like, are you a professional? Are you a direct but? I love, I love Imagine Dragons. I to me it's sorry. I know this is rapid. I need to talk about this. It's another stress Buster. Loud music off Imagine Dragons on my right way back from work. I can totally relate. I can totally relate. Favorite quote? Favorite quote I think my favorite quote is and I my favorite quote keeps changing, but one quote that I'm like the past week or two weeks has been constantly in my thing is you're always gonna have a plate full.

1:02:11 Never look for emptying your plate. Figure Figure out what you need to eat first. Oh OK, nice. Favorite movie? I am, I have always been a Shah Rukh Khan fan. Oh yes? Which one then? DDLJ. DDLJ. OK, what's your greatest fear? I think my greatest fear still is life happening and losing people. I think I'm never prepared to lose people. OK, what's the most courageous thing you've ever done in life so far? Courageous thing. I think it's underrated and every woman goes through it as giving birth. OK, what's your philosophy of life?

1:03:01 Philosophy of life. Believe in yourself. I think you are going to be your best cheerleader. Nobody else is gonna be that for you. Not your husband, not your kid, not your parents. It is you. OK. And then finally, as we come to the end of the episode, what is the one thing that you would give as an advice to our viewers of this podcast? I think one thing I would say especially is I am a feminist, you know, I know even today morning we were talking about it. And the word feminist is not fully understood by the society.

1:03:47 It doesn't mean that I hate men. Yeah. It is mostly around how we as women need to, even in this 21st century, navigate through stuff, whether it is at work or whether it is at home, whether it's being a mom. But don't let that hold you back. I think you need to believe in yourself. Don't let other men hold you down. Don't let other women hold you down. I think a lot of times we as women don't believe in sisterhood that much. I think we need to, we need to build that, build that, you know, support that and fight for yourself.

1:04:32 That's what I would say. That is an awesome and amazing advice for our viewers and there you have it. So always believe in yourself and thank you so much for such an amazing conversation. It was truly inspirational. Thank you. Thanks, Harita.